Snake vs Kevin McCallister

Feb 20, 2017 | | Say something
Contenders.

Who’s harder?

Solid Snake generally works on a procurement-on-site philosophy, so we can assume he’s still going to Outer Kevin with nothing.

Counterpoint is that Kevin’s design philosophy is that he must be completely solitary for his architectural traps to be functional. He is “home alone” after all.

In a scenario where Outer Kevin is in effect, Solid snake would be infiltrating a base with a single guard: Kevin. We can eliminate any boss battles or difficult guard encounters that would otherwise take place.

Snake is shown to be capable of dodging very fast pitfall traps and that weird… rolling pin… thing. Therefore, any pitfall traps that Kevin is renowned for using would be considered ineffectual against Solid Snake. He’s seen this shit before.

This is an initial encounter with Solid Snake for Kevin. Kevin would be in his normal form, not his Hyper Kevin form from Home alone 2, in which he’s gained experience from his prior encounter and upgraded his traps.

He will therefore be unable to deploy crazy bird woman.

The upside of this for Kevin is that Snake will not be able to count on codec support from Tim Curry.

1448709517538

What is Solid Snake’s objective?

Based on previous encounters, we can assume that Kevin has constructed a revolutionary walking battle tank out of pieces of cardboard, bits of furniture, duct tape, and string.

If Solid Snake tries to destroy Metal Gear McCallister, he’d likely be killing Kevin in the process.

Would Solid Snake kill an 8-year-old? Is this a flaw that Kevin would be able to realize and exploit? I’d argue so.

Kevin could easily jury-rig a homemade detonation device, much like the ones used in MGS3 by the Cobra unit, out of thumb tacks and elastic bands.

So if we interpret Snake’s likely action in this way, along the lines of his dedication toward protecting Sunny in MGS4, Jihadi Kevin would effectively be invincible.

But I think we can dismiss the Failure to Eliminate hypothesis on the grounds that there’s no way we have a calm, composed Snake by the time he has waded through a bunch of facepalm-inducing, obvious traps.

Snake regularly points out that he is “not a hero.” He might indeed sacrifice his virtue in order to stop a fully-operational bipedal nuclear cardboard tank, that fires paint cans filled with depleted uranium.

If we assume Kevin to be innocent in this scenario then there would not even be a fight. Kevin wouldn’t defend Outer Kevin from Snake, if Kevin and Solid snake were “good guys.” We are forced to assume someone(s) has concocted a situation in which these two are actively trying their best to overcome one another.

Who would stand to gain from someone taking Kevin out the most? Who would give that intel to Snake?

Who would stand to gain from someone taking Kevin out the most? Who would give that intel to Snake?

I believe Snake would be able to overcome Outer Kevin.

He would likely be covered in paint. His infiltration uniform covered in tacks, glass, tinsel.

His face camo would be ruined by severe burns, because Snake lit a cigarette in a comedic scene where Kevin had filled the room with propane gas from a leftover canister rigged to start going when a tripwire was triggered.

Kevin is a former member of the McCallisters. Forgotten by his parents he has gone rogue, building a nation without borders: Outer Kevin. He's a trap fanatic totally obsessed with mobster movies and spaghetti westerns. Watch your back, Snake.

Kevin is a former member of the McCallisters. Forgotten by his parents he has gone rogue, building a nation without borders: Outer Kevin. He’s a trap fanatic totally obsessed with mobster movies and spaghetti westerns. Watch your back, Snake.

Posted in: Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *