SHIP it

Jul 3, 2018 | | Say something

I probably was some kind of Human Resources person in a past life, and my current life is rebelling against that by using their acronym powers for evil, misogynistic ends.

The thing I didn’t like about this survey is that is has two entries that start with P: probably, and probably not. Meaning that when I was creating a spreadsheet to see my preferences in numerical format, I had to go with PY and PN. Probably yes, probably not.

This got annoying quickly. A whole extra letter to type! It also doesn’t cover the intent of the color well enough for. Probably, in and of itself, is inherently probably yes or probably no. Duh.

Usually internet thots like their ratings in one of two formats:

  1. 10-point scale (which is about as useful as it is in video game journalism)
  2. Yes/No (Smash/Pass, left/right swipe, etc.)

Fellas have this fun one too:

Marry/Fuck/Kill

I dislike all of these. 10 points are too many and resembles the faulty grading scale in which failure can occur above 50%. Smash/Pass is fine for a snap judgment, but in a comparative pool it doesn’t tell you much. “Super Like” on Tinder affords that little bit extra, but as a gated feature doesn’t help much statistically.

Marry/Fuck/Kill introduces moral implications that are outside the scope of what I’m trying to represent. If Marriage is worse to you than Life Imprisonment, Killing might be seen as better to you. Maybe you cum harder when you murder someone compared to fucking them. I don’t know. The scale should represent your preference for whatever you intend to use the women for, not complicate preferences with moral arguments.

For more surveys I really prefer the Likert scale: Strongly Agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, Strongly Disagree.

I’m collapsing Neutral and Disagree into the same option. If I’m neutral about someone, it usually leads to a negative opinion anyway. In terms of my spreadsheet, though, we’re back to the lack of uniqueness in lettering. Which brings me to the final form of my reckoning:

  • Smash: fucking
  • Help: good conversation, or would go out of my way to assist this person if meeting them for the first time
  • Ignore: hope they don’t notice me or try to get my attention
  • Pass: I get to reject them directly

I look at someone and consider what outcome would I be happiest with? 

And then I SHIP it.

Based on the small sample size above here are some insights to ‘my type’, physically speaking:

  1. I am equally happy with fucking someone with a normal body type as someone with severe body image issues (10 count on both sides)
  2. I have a slight preference for ignoring women to talking to them. (9/11 count)
  3. I will probably always be down to fuck an athletic woman, but never someone visibly surgically-altered cosmetically or anorexic.
  4. If she doesn’t look capable of handling her own weight in the real world, I’ll probably forgive that if she looks like she has had children.
  5. I have a 50% chance of wanting to be friends with thin, thicc, or muscular women.
  6. I dislike women as they become leaner, but I don’t have a problem with muscularity.
  7. I seem to prefer taller women with lighter skin.

SHIP stats

Overall:

  • S = 41%
  • H = 18%
  • I = 22%
  • P = 18%

Smash

  • 20 count
  • 10 normie, 10 degenerate
  • 4 count = Athletic, Strong
  • 3 count = Neutral, X-Thicc

Help

  • 9 count
  • 6 normie, 3 degenerate
  • 3-way tie: Thin, Thicc, Muscular

Ignore

  • 11 count
  • 7 normie, 4 degenerate
  • 3 count = Fit
  • 2 counts= Skinny, Bodybuilder

Pass

  • 9 count
  • 1 normie, 8 degenerate
  • 4 count = Bimbo
  • 2 count = Muscular

Category Comparison

I compared the choices I made to the total number of options in each category. For example, Skinny has 2 options. I chose Ignore for both, so it’s 100% Ignore.

Skinny

  • Ignore: 100%

Thin

  • Smash: 50%
  • Help: 50%

Neutral

  • Smash: 50%
  • The Rest: 17%

Fit

  • Help: 25%
  • Ignore: 75%

Athletic

  • Smash: 100%

Thicc

  • Smash: 25%
  • Help: 50%
  • Ignore: 25%

Muscular

  • Help: 50%
  • Pass: 50%

Strong

  • Smash: 80%
  • Pass: 20%

Bimbo

  • Pass: 100%

Bodybuilder

  • Smash: 50%
  • Ignore: 50%

X-Thicc

  • Smash: 75%
  • Ignore: 25%

Fat

  • All: 25%

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